I've spent most of my life being whoever the people around me wanted me to be...filling their mold so completely, so expertly that they didn't even realize that wasn't who I really am. I've always had some sort of guideline to go by some image someone else created for me to become, until now. There is no longer an external expectation waiting for my chameleon-esque expertise. This has been an interesting year full of extreme highs and lows that have brought me back to an empty slate. I've stood up for myself, against myself, against what had become easy, normal, second nature and finally shouted STOP! THAT'S NOT ME, THAT'S NOT WHO I WANT TO BE! and the pretenses fell away...beautiful happy ending all is well now, right?
Unexpected twist: enter stage left.
See I've been somebody else for so long that what I really am is a mystery to me. So when I stopped letting others define me, I was left with nothing but questions. I spent a couple months just reeling in the wind not sure what to do, how to act, who to be...then I realized: I can be whoever I want to be. I've been looking around today and everything seems so much more vibrant, so alive, so REAL. I'm making changes - small ones, big ones, in between ones. I'm going all the way back to the basics, to the fundamentals, the bare bones basics of what make me - me. So come along for the ride and get to know me for the first time...I am. I'm reanalyzing everything I've ever liked, ever thought, ever read, ever tasted, ever believed and documenting it here on this blog to weed out the mimicry from the Elementally Me.
